God's Hand

Just when your thinking 'why God' He sometimes gives you a glimpse into why.  Today is the day we should have been in court and it is four days past Haddie's fifth birthday.  We missed another one of her birthdays which breaks our hearts but we are trusting God.  About the glimpse; God showed us today that it had to happen the way it did to get things moving in India.  Just yesterday our adoption agency was given a court petition for the adoption to get started in Hyderabad.  This could have taken many more months without their mistake.  There may be other reasoning behind why it happened they way it did, but we are pleased and thankful that we get to see a little glimpse into why.

Hopefully we will be getting the call soon to go to court and start finalizing the adoption so we can bring our little 5 year old home with us.

Thank you Lord for the little glimpses and for the honor of being able to see you at work in our lives. Protect and prepare Haddie's heart and ours as we move forward in the completion on our family.

Ready set...don't go

So to all those who are actually taking the time to read this, we have had a change in plans.  You heard it right this adoption is a one of a kind according to our wonderful reps from the adoption agency.  We found out on Tuesday early morning that India had made a mistake and it wasn't our little girl but another little girl who was ready to have a court hearing.  This was a very hard pill to swallow.  We were so close... Our adoption agency has been great through the whole thing they share our disappointment and have since contacted the Ripa and government with strong yet helpful words of truth about how this has effected us and the family of the little girl who it was actually for.  The agency has never seen this happen before so I pray this is the last time for us and for anyone to suffer the emotional and financial effects of this mistake.

When we found out that we were going; God had given me an uneasiness but I worked through it just in hopes of holding Haddie.  He showed me He was still in control in so many ways through those couple days.  For instance I was on the way to San Francisco to get visas and He put two wonderful women on my flight.  Women I have known for many years and whom I look up to.  They prayed with me and comforted me through the flight and encouraged the road we had ahead.  When I found out through an email that we for sure would not be going a since of peace came over me almost like God was saying, "not yet but soon".  The Lord is so faithful and through the time we found out we were going, till the time we found out we weren't I prayed God would show me and He did through His Holy Spirit.



On the way back the Lord reminded me that whenever thing falls apart I need to keep holding on to the hope that He does not let go...

                                   His beauty is never ending...(my view from the plane home)

Got a call!!!!!!!

While cleaning my house on Friday I picked up a little jacket for Haddie that Sarai was walking around with and put it in her bag I have ready for her.  As I held on to it I longed to hold on to her.  An hour later I recieved a phone call from our adoption agency!  He informed me they recieved an email which stated that they want us there for the 23rd of April court date.  I was in shock when he told me and he was in shock that they think it is normal to call parents up and get them to India in a weeks time.  I was just thrilled to have some news.  The adoption agency rep told me that this has never happened in his 15 years of working with Indian adoptions.  The email they had sent him contained the wrong name on it.  So we decided we would make all the reservations like we are going but if they did actually contact the wrong people we will have to put all of it on hold.

So we are now packing, have our flights, rooms, and the other one hundred things needed to travel to India to meet your daughter.  At least we think we have it all together...  I am traveling to San Francisco to get visas for Andrew and I in such a short time frame.  Pray  we can get them please.

 One snag though after the court day they will put in for her passport which means that it might be a month till we can bring her home.  This means we will have to leave on the 25th and have to leave our little girl there.  Oh it breaks my heart to think about it.

Please be in prayer for us as we embark on this adventure.  Pray for her heart to be open to us and pray for ours as we bond with her.  I know and believe God's timing is always the best and the way this came around is amazing.  I just dread leaving her behind.....

Fundraising...

So we are still waiting to hear from India about the court date.  Some of the things going through our minds right now...will that ever happen, what is Haddie doing right now, does she even know we are waiting for her, are we being scammed :-), does adoption get any easier and many other questions.

I was praying about this the other day and the Lord revealed to me that my desire for Him should be similar to the desire and anticipation I feel when thinking about getting Haddie.  I wonder if the Lord felt that way towards me when I was far from Him.  Did He yearn to comfort me?  Did He agonize over the anticipation of me surrendering to Him?  All the anticipation that comes with adopting or really anything in life doesn't compare to the anticipation of meeting Jesus face to face.  Imagine that excitement and celebration!

We are in the process of purchasing shirts for a Haddie fundraiser.  We have them put together but just need to order them.  So if you would like to purchase one to help support our adventure let us know.

The front of the shirt says: What is pure Religion?

The back says:  "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for the orphans and widows 

in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you" (James 1:27).

And at the bottom of the back: India now has one less orphan, Thank you

India

First off still no date for India so continue to pray for things to get moving.  

As for fund raising we have had $535 raised already.  What a complete blessing, we are so thankful to those of you who have donated.  

Someone also referred me to a movie on Netflix about India.  The documentary is called Its a Girl.  It is about the gendercide that goes on in both India and in China.  It is a very common thing for women to kill there girl babies right after they are born by smothering them or having them drink bleach. How horrible!  Why!  It said that there is a high rate of deaths of girl babies (that is what they call them in India) by the time they are 5 years of age.  What is going to happen when all the girl babies are gone and all there is are men to populate thier countries.  

How can a mother devalue a life her body held for 9 months and God chose to give her.  I pray that The Lord has mercy on these women and men who in most cases give these women no other choice but to get rid of the girls.  

Oh how I long to hold our girl baby Hadassah.

Waiting....

One of the most difficult things for me is waiting.   I recently informed my husband that he can not tell me something until he knows for sure if he wants to do it.  Only because I have a very hard time waiting and not just jumping on it.  For instance we will be moving in the next six months because Andrew's project will be over and that means moving on to another project.  I am the planner type who months before figures out where we will live, what school our children will go to, and then I start packing.  Right now we have no clue where we will be moving, only that we are moving.

Ahhhhhh.....

And then when I think about Haddie and how we are simply waiting for a date to go pick her up.  Why can't I just call India and set it up through the court system.  I know I talked about patience in the last blog, but alas I am back in the spiral of not having it.

Bottom line nothing is certain and we do not know what will happen today let alone tomorrow.  But I will try to hold on to God's promise "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6-34).  And that He works all things out for those who love Him.

 Please remind me of this when I start to spiral again.

Anxious about what?

Still waiting for word from India about filing for a court date.  I have to stop myself from thinking about it too much because I get very anxious and stressed if I do think about it.  I have started collecting clothing for Haddie and I am fixing to purchase a car seat for her.   It seems so surreal when I ponder what it will be like to travel to India and see her for the first time.  Andrew and I just sit and imagine our reactions and hers.

What do you think she will be thinking?  Will she be scared?  Will we?  Will she just know us and bond right off the bat?  Will we get all the paperwork done while we are there?  All these thoughts and so many more are going through our minds.  Does she even know we are planning, loving, and hoping for her.  Did she get the picture book we sent of her family for her?
So many ifs and maybes and guesses...

What I do know for sure is that God tells us: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

Please pray that India gets things rolling soon because we are fixing to move in July or August.  We want Haddie to be home before this.  God's will be done...