It has been over four months since we were promised a court date to finalize the adoption. Throughout this four months we have not heard anything directly from the Indian government or the orphanage themeselves. Good news though our agency in the states sent a rep yesterday to the Ripa to see what was going on. He was greeted with suprise and shock. They had completely forgotten about our case! Both the lawyer and the Ripa had forgotten about the adoption. CRAZY...
Now throughout this whirlwind of four months I have been incredably sick, in limbo on where and when we are moving, started homeschooling our awesome children again, and fighting to stay hopeful for Haddie. And the Ripa simply forgot... But God knows what He is doing. I have struggled to keep this FACT in my mindset throughout the past few months. The struggles that I have been wrestling with are: will this ever happen, maybe I am not ready for her and God doesn't want this, maybe it is a big conspiracy, and do I even deserve to mother another child.
As the selfish thoughts fill my head, God brings me back to what about Haddie. Imagine what she might be feeling. She has met a couple women who have taken pictures of her at the orphanage but can't understand why. They seem interested but nothing has happened yet. Am I going to have a mommy and daddy come to get me? Will I get to go like my friends have got to go? My heart breaks to think of the confusion she may be dealing with right now. But every moment I think of her I give her right back to The Lord and pray that He fill that worry and anticipation, with peace for both her and us her mommy and daddy.
Although we do not know the time and date we will get to hold our daughter, we do know we can trust and believe God knows best and His timing is always perfect.
"Wait on The Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on The Lord" (Psalm 27:14).
